Maybe Baby

Some readers may not be aware of this fact, but after having no issues conceiving our daughter, my wife and I struggled with secondary infertility for almost a year and a half before conceiving our second child (who, according to ultrasounds, is a son, and will arrive October 1). So, when the Parent Bloggers Network offered me the opportunity to review Maybe Baby: An Infertile Love Story, I eagerly accepted, since I was curious to read another man's perspective on the experience, even though secondary infertility is very different from general infertility.

Matthew Miller, author of Maybe Baby Blog, chronicles two years of fertility challenges in this memoir. They go from childless dreamers purchasing an entire nursery from the Pottery Barn catalog to, well, childless lovers struggling with the reality of 24 periods. It covers, with candor, their journey from enjoyable sex, to mechanical sex, to doctor's offices and clinics.

I must admit to being somewhat disappointed with the book as a whole. It is clear that Miller is a sensitive (and somewhat insecure) man, that he loves his wife, and that he genuinely wants to be a father. However, as a reader, I felt like the book was more about him proving (to himself and any imaginary accusations he may have, since the reality is nobody in the book "blamed" him) that it was not "his fault". I felt like we, as readers, did not get the insight into why he wanted to be a father, or what becoming a father would mean to him. Instead, we were left with story after story of him masturbating in a cramped hospital washroom. (Which, I get; I understand that he had to provide semen sample after semen sample, but personally, one recounting of the experience and its challenges and awkwardness was sufficient. I feel like some of that effort could have been put into expanding on his feelings about the prospect of fatherhood as opposed to the lengths he would go to in order to become one.)

Ultimately, the book ends with them still not pregnant. However, his blog indicates that his wife, Constance, is currently expecting (although they recently experienced a vanishing twin). Hopefully, this pregnancy will bring them the baby they so desperately want.